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I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches.


Saturday, July 4, 2009

Im still alive. and kicking

Just got done with my finals. Wasnt smooth but i'l just hope for the best.

Things have been pretty rough for me this year. Bloody year of the Ox hasnt been too nice with me so far. Things just havent been going smoothly. Obstacles at every fuckin corner. Been trying so hard since the start of the year but failed big time when it came to stuff that matter.

One blow after another and im still standing strong. Wonder how long can i go on like this. Putting on a smile when im with people; having sleepless nights when im alone - this is becoming my life.

Rant. The last thing i want is to be labeled a bloody 'Emo' but blogspot and msn are pretty handy at times. Sometimes typing all the shit into a data server gives more comfort than talking to a living human. Dont ask me why. Probably because ive ranted so much to my closest pals and theyre probably sick of my never ending sad stories. Who likes sad stories anyway?

Seven months. Seven god damn months have passed and i thought i was ready to move on. Bloody hell i was so wrong. People say the first cut is the deepest. I say the first cut fucking kills you. My refusal to deal with reality, or perhaps my inability to let things go, has become a serious problem for the other party. Heck i know its unfair. ive been trying. and i still am.

Memories kill.

A couple of years ago one of my good friends was having some relationship problems. I gave some smart-alec advice. Its funny when the very same advice comes back to you, and you actually find it ridiculous.

So many questions. No answers. Probably never going to get them.

Taking life one step at a time. A very, very small step at a time. Been tumbling so much even a little step feels like a giant leap nowadays.

Sometimes i still wonder- why cant circumstances be a little less cruel? Yeah i might sound like a pussy but sometimes i wish things were a little easier. It really sucks when youre trying so hard to reach for something and you fail to do so simply because Circumstances forbid you to. Giving in to circumstances is something ive always found very hard to do.

I'd really really like to believe in serendipity. Does it even exist

The hardest thing in the world is to watch somebody dear from afar. To draw lines and contain feelings so that it doesnt spill and make a big mess of the person's life.

I notice ive posted nothing but thrash since december last year. Hopefully i'l get my blogging interest back. THen maybe you guys will get to see photos. hah.

Im so, so tired.
posted by Joe, 1:16 AM


lease trader

thanks for your idea.

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